Babbles Nonsense
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Babbles Nonsense
The Power of Discipline: Unlocking Lasting Success Beyond Motivation w/ Meenu
#152: Picture this: you're on the brink of a major breakthrough, but something's holding you back. Could that something be the intricate dance between motivation and discipline? In our latest episode, we promise to unravel how these two forces—one a flickering spark and the other a steadfast companion—play pivotal roles in your journey to success. Through our personal stories, from navigating the strict routines of childhood to developing self-discipline in adulthood, we reveal the insights and realizations that have shaped our paths. Whether it's the struggle to maintain weight or overcoming business challenges, discover how adversity has fueled a non-negotiable commitment to discipline.
Join us as we dissect the origins of discipline and its enduring power over the often transient nature of motivation. With the year-end approaching, we challenge you to start building consistent rhythms in your life—be it through exercise, meditation, or spiritual practices—without waiting for a New Year's resolution. Learn from our experiences on how discipline can be the bedrock of self-trust and long-term achievement, and why relying solely on motivation might leave you in the lurch. Together, let's explore how combining both forces can propel you towards personal growth and fulfillment, ensuring progress even when motivation fades.
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What is up everyone? Welcome back to another episode of the Babbles Nonsense podcast. Minyu is back today and our topic of choice was motivation versus discipline. So we kind of talk about the differences between the two and how obviously they can be similar and intertwined. But if you have been lacking motivation in certain areas or maybe lacking discipline, this is definitely the episode for you.
Speaker 2:Okay, guys, welcome back to another episode in this amazing collab with babbles nonsense and transcend into wellness. Today we're going to talk about discipline or motivation. What's going to win? What should you actually depend on and what will actually work for you in the long term, right?
Speaker 1:right, and so, before we start, I just want to give, like the Webster dictionary version of both or the definition, just so that everyone's on the same page on what we're talking about. Like, everyone should know or not should know, but should could would know discipline versus motivation. So discipline is the ability to control oneself and to keep working towards a goal, even when it's difficult. It can also refer to the act of enforcing rules or orders to gain control. And then motivation is a complex internal state that drives people and animals to act in a way that achieves their goals. It's a fundamental part of how people interact with the world and each other.
Speaker 2:That's amazing. That's very helpful. That's very helpful. Thanks for doing that, You're welcome.
Speaker 2:So to just give you guys a little bit of like a background, like when I so you know, obviously I was around my mom a lot and she raised me. My parents both raised me. But my mom is like the epitome of a disciplinarian she would wake up, she would do things in a certain order. A disciplinarian she would wake up, she would do things in a certain order and she was very, very. She is very, very intelligent, she is efficient and I've always admired that. So much about her Right.
Speaker 2:So it's like I always struggled to be disciplined. From the beginning, from the time I was young, I struggled to be disciplined because I thought I have to feel some kind of way to do certain things. I have to feel like I want to work out, I have to feel like I want to eat this food, I have to feel like this, and for a long time I lived that. But you want to know what happened. It kept me fucking stuck. It kept me miserable. It kept me. I don't want to, I don't want to use the fat, I don't want to say fat, but you know it did like I had body issues.
Speaker 2:I had issues with so many things because I thought I have to feel something to do something.
Speaker 1:But it's funny that you say that because, coming off last week's episode where we talked about control right, so like going back to these definitions that I just read discipline talks about how we're trying to gain control. Motivation talks about feelings, like so what you just said you said that you thought you had to feel something, so you're waiting for motivation to come before you could do it. Exactly, I'm the opposite. So I grew up where I didn't grow up with a disciplinarian and I didn't grow up with, like seeing that ritualistic type stuff with my parents. So I created discipline within myself because I learned at an early age I had to gain control of situations, to feel comfortable and to feel safe. So then I started doing things within my own routine, which was that's how I built discipline, and I didn't ever feel anything when I did it.
Speaker 2:That is so interesting. I feel like when you have controlled environments not when I say controlled, let's reframe it and say structured environments, because I grew up in a very structured, good household, right. So I think I had the rule not to be disciplined. I had so much, you know, safety net with my parents. I could lean on them, I could mess things up, I didn't have to be consistent and it would be okay. But then that broke me in adulthood when I left my house and I continue to live that way. I was not set up for that life, you guys. I left home when I was 17 and a half to a country to live by myself with a few hostel roommates. It was not cool, it was not fun.
Speaker 1:And then I became an entrepreneur.
Speaker 2:To top off the cherry on the icing, you know entrepreneurship journey is like you. It's never the same every month. It's like a huge roller coaster and the one thing you always have to rely on is being disciplined and how you show up what you do Right. One thing you always have to rely on is being disciplined and how you show up what you do right, and so I struggled a lot in my entrepreneurial journey in the beginning phases because I just wasn't disciplined. I was just waiting for the feeling. I was waiting to waiting to feel like I want to post on social media today. I was waiting to feel like I want to see my client today. I was waiting to send that email. So I feel like, really, if I'm being very vulnerable, stalled my success as an entrepreneur and it took a very lots of rude awakenings to be like is motivation really serving me? Is relying on feeling actually keeping me successful?
Speaker 1:No, and it's funny that you say that, because I did try to do like a nutrition coaching thing for a little bit and I was waiting for that feeling to be like I should feel, like I want to do this, I should feel, and I didn't have the discipline to sit down. Well, I did, I sat down and did a post every day and stuff like that there was. There was some discipline there, but there was no motivating factor. So I truly think that you can't have Well, that's not you can't have.
Speaker 2:Well, that's not, you can have one without the other. But I think if you have both, it's going to make you the most successful. That's exactly what happened with my business, because it's like it was so inspired. I was so inspired. I was like this is my soul based mission. You know, this is like my baby. So there was inherent motivation which was already there.
Speaker 2:It's, it's. I think it's always going to be there, I think that's not going to go away, but the discipline was not there. So, even though I had that motivation, the discipline was not there. So when my business really started to take off is when I started actually combining both. Yeah, found my sweet spot. That doesn't mean, oh, I was going at it every day, I was doing this aggressively. No, I found my sweet spot. Yeah Means showing up these times of the days and this time of the week and doing this, serving this many clients in a day. You know, that is my thing. That's where you have to like trust your rhythm. Don't do it just because XYZ person is like doing it in a certain way. So that's also. You have to give energetic permission to ask what is a standard of discipline that is sustainable for me to follow?
Speaker 1:Right, and, like we just both talked about, we both had very different childhood, so it definitely stems from which. I mean, come on, let's be real, everything stems from childhood trauma, like I know people are tired of like oh, no it, yes, it does. Like. I mean, we learn who we are, we learn things from other people. Now do we have to stay stuck in it? No, we can still grow as human beings after we realize it and move on. But when it comes to like discipline, that's where when I look back and say, why do I have this type of discipline that I do, when it comes to like sitting down, doing stuff, going to the gym, whatever, whether it be, I have no motivation to do it, but I still go and do it. That's discipline, right, and it came.
Speaker 2:I have to interrupt you, john. I want to give you a shout out because really, guys like I admire that about her so hard. I admire people that are disciplined because they are combating a negative voice in their head which says let's just stay on the couch, let's just eat this packet of chips, let's just watch tv. They are battling because they're battling. It's not everybody doesn't want to wake up and go to the fucking gym like they don't want to do that, but they do it because they're hardwired to be disciplined. So huge shout out to anybody that's listening if you're disciplined, mad respect, jonna, mad respect for you on that, thank you um, well, I was just saying it like it came from childhood.
Speaker 1:But when it comes to working out and exercise and like the discipline and whatnot, like I'm definitely better, but like it's actually kind of a sad story because I was not saying that I was ever like overly wet, like overweight, like crazy, but I was like gaining weight, more so than my peers in high school. And so the discipline started in high school when it came to like I've got to start moving my body, I have to start eating right because I'm gaining weight. Little did I know I was having thyroid problems, which was a whole other thing. We could talk about it on different podcasts, but I couldn't control the thyroid aspect of it and the metabolism of it. But what I could control was moving my body and trying to stay as healthy as I was. So that control turned into discipline, which you know we listen to the definition.
Speaker 1:That's where it kind of comes from. So it's more of a control thing. That's the only thing I can control, because I can't control my thyroid, I can't control my metabolism when it comes to my health and what it's doing Right, but I can control going to the gym, I can control nutrition protocols. I can control those things. So it's not. And so that's where it's not a motivation thing Like, oh, I want to feel motivated. It's more of like I have to get up and do this for my health.
Speaker 2:Yes, so obviously you prioritized it right, because there are so many people that have health issues that just don't do anything Like. There are people that have thyroid issues, there are people that have metabolic disorders, there are people that they have so many things but they don't do it. So I think I think also that's where values come in right. Like what do you really value? Like what?
Speaker 1:does, but it also comes. It stems from a little bit of self-esteem issues, which that's getting better, but like also like growing up in a society in the nineties where everyone was a hundred pounds and I was gaining all this weight and I was more curvy or I had, you know, boobs and a butt like, and trying to fit into societal norms. So it, the discipline, did turn into like disordered eating, where it became like eat less, move more, which, thankfully moving out of that. That's why I tried to do like coaching and like learn everything I could about nutrition, because I was like that's not sustainable and that's not something I can live with for the rest of my life. Now do I still have that voice in my head that says you're eating out too much, you're going out with friends too much, absolutely 100%. I don't think that's ever going to go away, but that still drives my discipline.
Speaker 2:Right, right, right. So your driver you're just saying that your primary driver for discipline actually comes from a trauma response. It comes from experiences, it comes from facing certain things. Right, and that was very true. You guys like, sometimes that's what it takes. You know, for me it came from my business not moving in the first two years, like not giving me anything that I wanted and I'm just relying on motivation, and that was very painful. I was also going through a divorce at that time. It was very painful. It was almost like do or die. Yeah, you do this or die.
Speaker 2:I still remember this conversation I had with my father in 2020, where I was talking about my business and I was like, dad, like it's crickets, you know. And my dad was like, why don't you just come back, you know? You know, why don't you just move back to India? And you know you can do a lot of things here, you can be very self sufficient here. You have our support and things like that. And I remember crying and I said can you give me two years? Because I was at rock bottom, right? I said I don't have anything to lose. I said can you give me two years so that I at least feel in my core and my soul that I've tried this. And then, obviously, after that, discipline was non-negotiable for me. Showing up was non-negotiable for me because the pain was that much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we talk about like motivation, like I've been motivated. I was motivated this past weekend to get my garage cleaned out. I was very motivated to do that and I'm just speaking like kind of crazy. But when I think about motivation versus discipline, motivation is very fleeting, it's very short-lived, and discipline doesn't really for me. My discipline is built within, like it's just there and I like when, like when people like comment on it or something, I'm like I don't even know how to tell someone to become disciplined, because it's just there, it's inherent yeah, it's definitely not inherent for me and I have had to learn it through multiple hard ways.
Speaker 2:You know, I was also like not to not to talk negatively about somebody. But I was also working with a coach at one point and she is very anti-discipline, right she was like you have to feel this way. You have to feel you should never do anything until you feel you know and I tried, I like danced, I did that dance for like a few months and I absolutely felt shitty. It didn't work for me. Again, I'm not shaming anyone. If that works for you, you do you. If you're listening to this do you?
Speaker 2:yeah, but it did not work for me. It did not give me the result, it did not give me the success, it did not give me the life that I wanted to create. Ultimate discipline won by God. I don't even know how many points.
Speaker 1:And like, like, as I'm sitting here thinking like and I know this sounds kind of sad and maybe a little pathetic, but like I'm sitting here thinking like when was the last time I was motivated other than to clean the garage, I don't know? Like I'm trying to think like true motivation. Well, when I was trying to leave my job, I guess last like I was really motivated to get out of that job. But again, like things were like, when I think about all the times that I was motivated, it was very short-lived, yes, it didn't, it wasn't sustainable.
Speaker 2:Like so when we think, like that's such a great example.
Speaker 1:Yeah like when we like when, when people are like oh my gosh, I just really wish I could find the motivation to go to the gym Like you do. Almost now that we're having this conversation, maybe I should turn around and go. I don't have motivation to go to the gym. It's kind of just inherent. It's more just like it's a daily thing. If I don't go, I feel guilt, I it's I don't know how that. I don't know how to translate that.
Speaker 2:Honestly, Right, right, right, no, absolutely. I 1000% feel you. The way I reframe it for myself, like if I keep up, if I'm promising something to myself, right, if I'm saying you know, I'm Meenu, I'm going to do this like three times a week and I'm going to like whatever, let's just say swimming, because that's what I'm doing right now. So I'm going to swim for three times a week because it really helps my joints. I love how I feel in the water. It's giving me peace. I just want to do it. I love to do it. It's beneficial in so many ways, whatever.
Speaker 2:And then I don't do it. I, the one option that I have is to go into a guilt spiral and be like oh, you fucked up, you're lazy, you didn't do it, yada, yada, yada. But the other way I found, which is helpful to reframe, it is okay. We didn't do it today. How do we rectify this for tomorrow? Because when you beat yourself up the reason I'm talking about this discipline, motivation, because I'm sure a lot of people are doing this, which is when you beat yourself up nothing comes out of that either.
Speaker 1:You're not motivating yourself about beating yourself up, yeah, but even to piggyback off that, like, I was actually talking to my nutrition and fitness coach today, like our check-ins are on Tuesday. So I was talking to her today and I was telling her like, cause I hadn't logged some food or something. And she was like hey, is everything going okay? Cause, like you know, you typically do everything. I was like you know, I've just been a little bit more stressed the past two weeks. I was like I have a lot of you know house stuff going on, so I decided to loosen the reins a little bit. So I've been like loosely tracking food, I've been drinking a little bit more with friends, like just going out more with friends and just having a good time.
Speaker 1:I was like I'm still getting my workouts in, I'm still meeting my protein goals, I'm still doing those things. I was like but I think I'm, I think I'm just going to pull back the reins just for a couple of weeks. And she she literally replied and said you know what? I'm very happy to hear you say that. She was like you're not a client I worry about. She was like and it's really good to let go of the rain sometimes. But like just to hearing that from a coach, I was just like okay, because I was over here beating myself up Like man. I've really been kind of lax the past couple of weeks. Yes.
Speaker 2:I have that guilt too, especially when I'm relaxing from work. I definitely, and I'm like, oh my God, like you know, october was, I was relaxing all of October, and now it's like a fire has been lit up.
Speaker 1:It's like, yep, let's go. But that's when the motivation, I think, kind of creeps back in, because like I'm then kind of like oh, I'm ready to get back at it. Or or I'll take like weeks off, like not weeks, but like maybe one to two weeks off from the gym, just to give my body like some relaxing time and and if you would have talked to me a couple years ago, this would have never happened. Like I would have been like no, I have to go. But now, like knowing what I know now about like health and stuff like that, it's good to give your body like breaks and relaxation and stuff like that. But like I could buy like a new pair of shoes or a new gym clothes and that will literally light a fire under me and that will give me the motivation to go, I'm ready to get back. Or just just taking that one to two weeks off the gym and just going for walks, like once I've like hit that time, I you know what I'm ready to go lift them weights again.
Speaker 2:Right, right, right. So do you feel like each person has like their sweet spot or the different ways and how? If somebody wants to get motivated and that's why they're listening to this podcast saying I want to get motivated Do you would you like ask them to like explore different things to see which really lights a fire for them?
Speaker 1:I would like. I think that motivation truly comes like. I think it's inspiration. I think that motivation because it's feeling. I think that you have to feel inspired to do something and the only like if you're forcing yourself to do something you don't like, that is not motivation, that is not discipline. Like, if you love walking every day but someone's telling you that's not going to get you to your goals, but that is what you love to do Walk, because motivation will come from that.
Speaker 2:Right, and also when you're walking, at least be disciplined in that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, your discipline is that you're walking. But when you do like, when you do something that you love and you're disciplined in that action, I think that motivation comes and goes through that action.
Speaker 2:It really does. You nailed it so well because the way that I was operating life before is I'm going to wait for the feeling and then I'm going to do the thing. But what I realized is, while the thing will come, feeling came and went.
Speaker 1:While I was doing the thing.
Speaker 2:The feeling came and went while I was doing the thing. The feeling came and went while I was doing the thing. The feeling came and left. So for me I was like, oh, at least, well, I don't feel bad that I didn't do it. I've still been doing it, I've still been showing up.
Speaker 2:The feeling is very fleeting. So I all I want to say, guys, is that motivation is very fleeting, it's very inconsistent and you can't rely on it. I, I understand you want to feel it, but it's going to go away really soon. It's probably going to go away in a few hours or a few days. You're not going to feel the same way. So I would just say, find a rhythm that really works for you, whether that's fitness, whether that's meditation, whether that's spiritual practices, whether that's prayer, whatever it is. You're struggling right now. I mean, the new year is going to be there in like two months and let's not even go there. Talk about, you know, like new year resolutions, because that's all like dopamine stuff, motivation, all motivation, stuff, which why do you think so many people join the gym and then they just don't go after 25 days like nobody, like they just drop, you know, and because? Why? Because it's not consistent. It feels really good, though. When somebody says, oh, let's go, let's join the gym. It feels amazing, but that's why you don't trust feelings.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, and like and that's something that was hard for me, cause I thought I thought I was operating off motivation for all these years and then I realized, like once I could let go of control, and then it was still there. I was like, oh, actually that's discipline, because it's still there. I didn't lose it, I still want to go, I just needed a break.
Speaker 2:Right, right. The way I feel is like when I'm disciplined and I do it even though I don't get the feeling, I feel like I've rebuilt some self-trust. Yeah, so that I feel like that's so crucial for everybody, especially people that have low self-worth, they don't trust themselves, they don't trust themselves to achieve certain goals. I think you have to, like, start really small, and I think discipline is the road for recovery for you guys. Like you know, it can be small actions that you take, where you're saying, if you're doing the things that you say to yourself that you're going to do, it's going to add points there.
Speaker 2:It's because you're showing up for yourself, exactly, yeah. So what's going to happen tomorrow is, even when shit hits the fan, you're going to know that you have your back. You're going to know that you're showing up for yourself. You're going to know that you're not going anywhere. So I think it kind of like sets foundation for so many things, like when I say discipline has like saved me in so many ways. It really has, because for me, like I didn't have that structure growing up, like my mom was like the disciplinarian but I had too much like loose rope with my dad. My dad would. I was spoiled by my dad. My dad would literally be like you don't want to do it, don't worry about it, you don't have to do it. I was literally, I was fine. So obviously I love him dearly, I will always love him because I'm always a daddy's girl. But at the end of the day, I think my mom wins.
Speaker 1:No, yeah. So, like at the end of the day, we have to ask ourselves are you disciplined or are you motivated? 1000%, and there's nothing wrong with either. I think it's finding a balance between the two.
Speaker 2:Yes, finding a balance between the two and I think I really want to like drill this down is find your rhythm. Just because your friend is going to the gym every day doesn't mean you need to go to the gym every day. Maybe you need to go three times a week. Just because somebody is meditating twice a day doesn't mean you got to. Maybe you meditate four times a week and that works for you. But do it, keep doing it. You know, whatever rhythm you set for yourself, get comfortable in that rhythm and repeat it so it's effective and efficient.
Speaker 1:But let's also just say, like I'm disciplined in the gym and nutrition but I'm not disciplined and motivated or in motivated in meditating. I want to be, but I'm not. But, and that's kind of where it is kind of sporadically throughout my life Like I'm disciplined in certain areas and then others I'm not you know, it's about it's.
Speaker 2:It's always a balance. You can be disciplined in everything. You also can't wait around for motivation to kickstart your life, to kickstart your habits, to kick. You can't. Don't do that. I did that. It really cost me. Don't wait for stuff. Don't wait for the feeling. If you have a plan, if you have some inspiration behind the plan, stop waiting for the feeling. You already have the inspiration, you already have the plan. You don't have to wait for New Year. You don't have to do that. You don't have to do that to yourself that everybody else is doing. Tomorrow, stop. Tomorrow, stop next week. We're all here. You're not going anywhere, gym ain't going in yoga studios and going nowhere. You know like agreed agreed, agreed.
Speaker 2:No, I love this.
Speaker 1:I love this short little topic. I loved it.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I think it's like perfect timing. People have two months, you know, for New Year's and holidays are coming up. Holidays are coming. So guys like don't put anything off, like don't wait for, oh, let Thanksgiving get over and then I'm going to start eating healthy. No, eat healthy, make room for it. It's okay. Like start today. Okay, like start today, start next week and then Thanksgiving comes. Okay, you try your best, do your best to have healthy options. If not, don't beat yourself up, start again the next day, don't? My whole point is don't wait. Don't wait for the perfect time, don't wait for validation from society, don't wait for this crap, bullshit, resolution and all this, and don't most certainly wait for the feeling like that is on that.
Speaker 1:And that is on that, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for doing this. I think this was much needed for my soul and for everybody else. So, yay, thanks guys for tuning in. All right guys, until next time. Bye, until next time, bye-bye you.
