Babbles Nonsense
Welcome to my verbal diary where I want to discuss any and all things that is essentially on my mind or have wondered about. Sometimes I will be solo and then other times I will have some amazing guests to bring all different perspectives in life. The ultimate goal is to hopefully bring some joy, laughter, inspiration, education, and just maybe a little bit of entertainment. Don't forget to like, rate, and share the podcast with a friend!
Babbles Nonsense
Embracing Imperfection into the New Year w/ Meenu
#157: This episode focuses on reflections and personal growth as we enter the New Year, emphasizing that healing is a journey, not a destination. We discuss self-worth, boundaries, the importance of personal choices, and setting realistic intentions for 2025 while encouraging listeners to embrace their unique journeys and experiences.
In this episode:
• Reflection on the lessons learned in 2024
• Importance of self-worth and its impact on relationships
• Understanding and establishing personal boundaries
• Healing as a continuous journey rather than a destination
• Emphasizing self-forgiveness and acceptance
• The significance of setting realistic goals for the New Year
• Advocating messy action over perfection in goal-setting
• Personal resolutions shared by the hosts for 2025
• Encouragement for listeners to be kind to themselves
• A reminder to embrace individuality and personal growth
Connect with Meenu here:
https://www.instagram.com/transcendencebymeenu/
You can now send us a text to ask a question or review the show. We would love to hear from you!
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What is up everyone? Welcome back to another episode of the Babbles Nonsense podcast. I was really not sure if we would get an episode out this week because of the holidays and whatnot, but me and Minyu had some time to sit down and do a New Year's podcast where we talk about reflections and letting go of things in 2024 and things that we want to bring into 2025 and goals and such as that. So if you were listening to this on Tuesday, Happy New Year's Eve. If you were listening to this past Tuesday, then Happy New Year's. I hope you all have some goals and some reflections that you are sitting down and either journaling on or thinking out loud, and I hope you enjoy ours as well all right, welcome back guys into a brand new episode and transcend into wellness with Babbel's Nonsense.
Johnna:Yes.
Grimes:We really wanted to record a few episodes to be released, probably one before New Year and one after New Year or even before, because I've started doing two episodes a week. I don't know if you know that, jonna, but I've been very heavy on the content department.
Johnna:I don't know if you know that, jonna but I've been very heavy on the content department and I have not, which I'm so mad because I came up to Nashville Everyone should know this. I came up to Nashville the week of Thanksgiving and I recorded in person with Minou and I recorded with my cousin Hannah and I was so excited to get those episodes out because they were so good and whatever was going on in the universe that week was technical difficulties because I had, like I did an amazing episode with my cousin 45 minutes into it didn't record, had to re-record, and then me and you had a great episode, got home, try to put it on the thing and and I was like where did it go? Where's the episode? I was like what is going on? And it deleted from my computer. And I'm so mad about it Cause that was our first in-person episode versus Zoom episodes and it was such a good episode.
Grimes:That's a good episode we have to recreate. We will recreate it, we will, we will. And and you, you know it's really interesting because I think the first time we decided to originally do it is me coming down to Huntsville and then do a podcast episode and then go and have like lunch in a gluten-free restaurant because Jonna and I are like mostly gluten-free yeah, mostly like she's better than I am but like this whole day planned and then Jonna was, you know she, she came before that.
Johnna:so I was like, okay, may as well knock it down and then, yeah, I was like I'm coming anyways for the holidays, I'll like, do you have time? She even moved a client for me. This was the whole thing. And then I was like I got home and I was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry, like I don't, like I bought this software and everything to try to like get it off my hard drive and I could not figure out the software. And I was just like, what is? Because I never. So I have a recorder right, like I have a podcast recorder. I put it onto my computer. I never deleted off the recorder until I know it's on my computer. I even saved it. I titled it everything like save. Can't even find the saved copy. I don't even know where it went. I was like the universe just wasn't ready for that episode like so interesting.
Grimes:You know I mean not to go on a tangent on this, but you know sometimes when like things happen and you don't know why it didn't happen in the way that you're originally planned and you can't comprehend in your logical mind and your ego as to why certain things do not happen. This is one of those things like I cannot in my logical mind Girl.
Johnna:In that day, like I was so tired, like I had had no sleep, I drove, like I went to the gym, I drove up to see you, then I went to eat and then I went to see my cousin and then like that whole technical difficulty with my cousin not even get to the hotel till nine o'clock, and I was like this is a shit show, just trying to get podcasts out. And then, of course, I get home and I'm like where the hell is the episode with me?
Grimes:No, it's all good. You know, I think there's a big cosmic reason for that episode.
Johnna:We're just gonna have to trust god and the forces of the universe and the swan have to. Because that was just insane. Like my aunt was like see, I told you you needed sleep. You're just sleep deprived. That's what the universe is telling you get sleep. And I was like must be. Because I've never, like in the four years so in january which I don't know when this episode will come out, so it's either going to come out the last week of December or in January that this will mark four years for the Bible's Nonsense podcast and never in four years have I had this many technical difficulties. I was like you would think I'd be experienced by now oh, my god, oh my.
Grimes:Four years is a lifetime. It almost feels like it's a long time. So we need to side note, we need to celebrate that. But yeah how was your Christmas and what did you do?
Johnna:So my Christmas I always go home to Winchester, which is a small town in Tennessee Just got to celebrate with my immediate family my mom, my stepdad, my sister, my stepbrothers and sisters. So I actually got to see my stepbrother the weekend before Christmas, but then my other stepbrothers and sisters I didn't get to see them because they had other family to see before. But there was no drama, which is a miracle in my household. So very thankful to the gods that there was no drama. Of course I went to my friend Mal's. I always go to her house. They always welcome me in on Christmas. So went to her house but I was so tired that I was like guys, I'm leaving and they're like you're leaving. I was like, yeah, I'm tired, I'm old.
Grimes:I'm tired, I'm old. Nobody can argue.
Johnna:How was your Christmas? Do you first of all? Do you celebrate Christmas?
Grimes:So that's a really good question. I never did. And then, once I moved to the United States and I started seeing like the decorations and the lights and people putting up trees, I felt I just felt really drawn to it. You know, I'm like, oh my God, this is so beautiful, this is so like amazing. Nobody said I couldn't do it. You know what I mean. Yeah, I mean I have my religion, but I'm not religious, if you know what I mean. So it's like I was just like I'm going to get a tree and I'm going to do this because it's also like vibey and like it's horrible. Like I mean Jonna is and I'm in Huntsville and I'm in Tennessee, so it gets dark at 3.30 and it is not even cool.
Johnna:That's why I'm in bed. By eight o'clock it's been dark for five hours.
Grimes:So literally I feel like our bodies start producing melatonin at 4 pm or something. So for me it can get a little too depressing if it's too gloomy, so I like to put the tree and put the lights on so it feels more like I don't know celebration. You know it's, yeah, it's, it's twinkly and it's sparkly. So I don't celebrate Christmas, but I've started celebrating Christmas in the last two to three years, and so my friends and I exchange some presents, sometimes with no pressure. We don't have any rule to do that. That's something that we like talked about. We shouldn't have rules that we have to be obligated to give each other presents, like nothing like that, because I think that's just conditioning, you know so um, yeah, but we celebrate.
Grimes:And then I saw a few friends and then, very, very low-key, I was at home, I took the day off and did a lot of self-care. That's, that's my kind of celebration. I'm not going to be you have to kick me and keep me out screaming and crying if you want me to party outside Now.
Johnna:is your religion Hinduism? Yes, do y'all have like a similar like I know? Like Christmas is like Christ is born, like we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Do y'all have like a similar holiday around Christmas? Like I know, like Christmas is like Christ is born, like we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Do y'all have like a similar holiday around Christmas? Like I know, like there's um other, like there's Hanukkah and there's stuff like that's similar, but it's not exactly the same. Like do y'all celebrate anything close to the same time of year?
Grimes:oh, absolutely so, like we do celebrate Christmas oh, you do yes, it's actually a public holiday because we have a lot of Christians that still live there. Oh cool, it's still a public holiday. And the new year is a public holiday we have. We celebrate like God's birthdays. You know how like Christ's birthday is. You know Christmas. We celebrate like different God's birthdays, mainly the elephant headed God, you know Ganesh. We celebrate his birthday, which is a big deal all over India, and then we also celebrate Diwali, which is the festival of lights.
Johnna:It is almost symbolic of bringing more light into our lives.
Grimes:I love that. It's amazing, so we definitely do all that we. You know it's and it's awesome. I miss home so much every time like.
Johnna:I was gonna say we need to do something in Nashville that celebrates your religion as well, like could we do some kind of like festival of lights at your house?
Grimes:yeah, so like, for example, they do it in the temple. Okay, I much go to the temple every year and they celebrate the festival of lights, which is Diwali, and you know they have like this big function and a lot of guests and food and lights and a lot of people do like auspicious ceremonies and prayers and it's really beautiful. So that happens every year in the temple and a lot of Indians that live in Nashville celebrated on a very like small scale.
Johnna:I think that we should do that at your house next year and do like a zoom free call in session.
Grimes:Oh my god, yes.
Johnna:That would be be amazing. Like we could just do your office, like we could me and you decorate your office, do some kind of like live podcast recording or something, and do like yeah, and like just like, send it out to your email list and people can join in via zoom, and like we could just talk about like the spirit of the season or something spirit of the season bringing more light.
Grimes:I of the season. Bringing more light. I mean light into our lives. You know all of those things. Yes, I'm down. Such a great idea. Sorry, guys, we have been babbling. Yes, but that's what I love about Jonna is she can take any topic and make it into a podcast. It's a real gift. Oh my gosh.
Johnna:Well, because I love to talk like that. The whole reason for my podcast four years ago was like I could literally talk to a wall if it would talk back. Yes, because I have so many questions, because people are just interesting to me, like I have it, but honestly it's my downfall. But it's also it's like a positive and a negative, because, the negative being that people think I'm being argumentative, because I'm inquisitive, like so people think that I'm questioning them all the time and it's like no, I'm not, I'm not questioning you, I'm truly interested. Like explain more, tell me more.
Grimes:Right, right, right, no, I love it, I love it. I love you for your straightforwardness, like never, ever, ever change, I mean. I might, I might like challenge you and we might, but that's okay.
Johnna:Yeah, and I love straightforward people Like I know it's people, people. I'm an acquired taste, we'll just put it that way.
Grimes:That's very accurate.
Johnna:Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, we're going to jump into the new year and I think mean you had a few topics that we were going to talk about coming up on the new year, yes, coming up on the new year.
Grimes:Yes, coming up on the new year and right before new year. I don't know. I think this is going to be probably released for me next week, tuesday, which is, I think, 31st, am I right? Yep, so it's right before new year, yeah, so, yeah. So we wanted to really like wrap up and talk about the biggest reflections that we've had in 2024. And I kind of wanted to jump in and talk about the biggest ahas and the biggest movers you know for me in 2024. And and which kept showing up again in like 2023, it kept showing up in 2022. But you know how, like you guys know what I'm talking about Sometimes it takes something to show up so many times to be anchored in and be like okay, this is it.
Johnna:It's before, like for me it's that aha moment, like ah, it clicked, like I get it, like I get it.
Grimes:Yes, absolutely. For me, the number one is that self-worth is the foundation of everything.
Johnna:Yes.
Grimes:Everything. And when I say everything, it's everything. It's like if you're asking why do I attract toxic relationships? That's because you don't love yourself enough. That's because your worthiness is not up to the mark of how much you love yourself. Yeah, why do I attract toxic friendships? Why do I have no boundaries? Why do I, you know, not take care of my body? Why do I not take care of my health when I know I should not be eating? This should be eating, this should be doing that. Everything is deep rooted in self care.
Johnna:It is.
Grimes:Everything is self worth. You know, like, if you really love yourself, if you feel worthy of your soul and you're being on this planet, you will not make a lot of FW decisions Period.
Johnna:That's true, but it's also like, so hard, it's almost like are we meant to have this sense of self-worth? Like I'm not saying that we're not, like there are people that I know that are very secure and very self like not self-centered in a bad way, but like centered in themselves, like I know who I am so self-centered, not self-centered in, like a in a bad way, but there's so many people on this, on this planet, that aren't self-aware or, you know, have that sense of self Like, it's almost like is that the way it's supposed to be, or or is it or, or is it, or is the or? Is the planet the things that we see, tv, media? Is it set up to self-sabotage?
Grimes:oh, that, that's what I agree with always. You know, I feel conditioning.
Grimes:We've talked about it so much, right it's like I do feel like, inherently, inherently, the second you are born and you come into the world, you are inherently worthy, but then there's so much conditioning given by our parents, given by the society, given by television, given by media. There's so much programming. Oh, you have to be a certain way to feel good enough, you have to look a certain way to feel worthy, you have to be close for people to respect you. I think there's just so much layers that keeps adding on, which makes it so difficult to own your worth, right, right, that's the culprit, but I do believe inherently, if you're listening to this, just for being born, you are deeply worthy, right, you know? And so I would say, like for all my clients, right and jonna knows this because she's worked with me a few times is my first process is really deconditioning, it's questioning, it's making you question all your beliefs, right?
Grimes:and asking is that really serving or?
Johnna:is that serving or sabotaging?
Grimes:is it serving or sabotaging? Is it serving or sabotaging? That's it. You just have to like ask yourself. So, for anybody that's like listening, that feels like, oh, I don't have that, I don't feel that worthy, check in with your beliefs and ask yourself is this serving me or is this sabotaging my dream life, my path, my destiny, my goal, whatever it is?
Johnna:Right, I agree 1000%.
Grimes:Yeah, and then another thing that I like always reflect on and I think this year it's been anchored in even more is that boundaries really lead to greater fulfillment of life. You know, and I have this boundary, which is like really crazy. I talked about it in my podcast, um, if you guys listen to it, which is, I came up with the boundary, I think in 20, end of 2023 somewhere, and I just I had put the story on my Instagram where I said I will not be taking phone calls, like I'm open for text messages, I'm open for voice messages. I'm open for voice messages, I will not be taking phone calls. Stop. I hate phone calls, me too. Stop calling, stop calling.
Johnna:Do you put on your voicemail? I will not pick up if you call me, please text me.
Grimes:I need to do it. I probably need to like change my voicemail.
Johnna:I think I recently changed my voicemail, a couple months ago. That literally says like you know, you miss me. If you would like to get a faster response, please send me a text message.
Grimes:Yes, like literally, I will tell you this. This is so crazy. Like I had an appointment scheduled for a massage, like a few days ago, and when I filled that intake form, they literally asked me what form of communication do you prefer? I checked text and they didn't respect that. And they called me three times because the therapist changed or something and I had to make a point right. So I didn't pick up. I was like you can leave a voicemail, I'm not going to pick up.
Johnna:But that's interesting that you like text messaging being like this life coach, energy healer, because we also talk about like how the world is very disconnected from self and like, very disconnected from like what's the word? Not communication, but like with other people, where we they say that the disconnect is that we don't have a lot of human interaction. We like that quick response, we like that text message, we like that voice note, but they say that we really should communicate more via talk, more FaceTime, more in-person communication. So that's interesting that you say that's a boundary of yours when the world is telling us, hey, actually we're doing us a disservice by doing this quick response system of text message, voice notes, etc.
Grimes:Right. So that's also, I feel, like, another layer of conditioning. You know, say that that's why you're laughing. You should see her face. Right now she's laughing. I'm like, who said that? Why should I? Why should that be true to me, when I can just be true to what is true to me, right, right. So for me, like, my favorite communication and my style of communication is voice notes, because I feel like with voice notes, I can, I can really feel their energy, you know, and they can really feel my energy. So, with my VIP clients, I actually give them access to Voxer, which is what we talk. It's like a walkie talkie, so it's actually like talking on the phone, but it's like being more respectful of each other's times.
Johnna:But I'm so much older than you and like trying to get into voice notes has been like the vein of my existence, like I love getting them, like it's fine. But like for me to like I'll be typing out a text message to your, because you voice note me a lot, and I'll text you back. Yeah, but like as I'm listening to the voice note, I'm writing a response to each thing that you say. Because by the time I get to the end of the voice note because we send long voice notes to each other, we'll send like three, four minute voice notes. So like, by the time I got to an end of a four minute voice note, i'd'd be like what did she say at the beginning? Like I wouldn't even be able to respond to everything.
Johnna:So, like I'm starting to like take notes as I'm listening to your voice notes which is funny because if more guys would do this because I feel like guys are the worst at this like even text message in general. Have you ever texted, for instance, your boyfriend? You text your boyfriend, you ask him him two questions. Does he answer both questions or just one?
Grimes:usually it's just okay. That is true for men.
Johnna:It's like they can only respond like the guy I was dating not too long ago, like I would ask him like what are we doing tonight? Or this is just, for example, like what are we doing tonight, what's the dress code? I would only get one response we're doing this. And I'm like okay, so you can't answer two things at one time.
Grimes:Cool, got it that is so funny. That is very. I feel like that's very, very true for men. Um, I don't know about age. I don't know.
Johnna:I mean I'm questioning it because I have clients that are like way older than you and they use voice notes, so I don't know like maybe I'm just because I'm stuck in the old times like text messaging and I'm also fast with text messaging, so like I can like type, type, type, I'm fast, I'm quick to respond, I'm I'm a quick responder. And again, me and you will disagree to this, like when it comes to dating, I'm not going to play those games. I'm not going to wait five, ten minutes to text you back if I'm on my phone sitting on the couch. I'm just not going to wait five, 10 minutes to text you back If I'm on my phone sitting on the couch. I'm just not going to do it Like element of surprise. Forget it. I'll just be single the rest of my life because I'm not going to play these games to where I have to pretend to not be interested in you.
Grimes:Yeah, I agree with that.
Johnna:And I'm not going to send a voice note, because then I'm my country bumpkin voice will be a voice note for forever.
Grimes:I love your country bumpkin voice. She's just messed. She's always being critical of herself, but anyway, what I was trying to say was that for me, coming back to the boundaries, it's like when I put that in my stories. So many people cheered me on yeah, and so many people. Some people were like hey, is everything okay? And I was like everything is like better than ever. Yeah, this is I have this.
Grimes:This is my boundaries yeah, I have this enhanced clarity that when I talk on the phone, what it actually does for me I don't know about you guys, but what it does for me is it completely zaps me off my energy. Yeah, but my phone talk like when, if I'm talking on the phone, it's going to be with very few people. It will be with my parents, because my parents live all the way in India and that is my form of connection with them. So it will be with my parents and my energy is reserved for certain things. And then it has to be after my parents. It has to be like my very, very, very inner circle, maybe two or three people like not even that much, right, and then after that it has to come to my VIP clients and then after that I actually don't have much energy. So it's just a boundary so that it preserves my energy.
Grimes:And then so I responded to everyone that you know, this is it, like, this is what it is. And then so I started missing people's calls, because, if you guys have listened to my previous episodes, I definitely struggled a lot with people pleasing, and so I recovered a lot of that. So for me it's still like damn, like I'm missing their calls. Like you know, they must not like me. That pops up sometimes, yeah, arrogant, and they must think this. They must. It pops up but it's not the absence of the thought that anchors in who I am, it's the fact that I have those fears, and sometimes they pop in and out, but I still make a choice. It's my action.
Johnna:Yeah.
Grimes:That's who I am, so it's like it has been a challenge in that way, but it has freed up so much energy. Oh my God, like you guys should try it.
Johnna:I'm with you. Like I haven't like publicly stated that, but like I, if I see someone calling me, even if I have time and I'm available, I don't answer Isn't that awful? Or I'll literally send them a text message and say I can't talk right now, what's up. I literally will text them at the same time they're calling me. I'm like can't talk right now, what's up.
Grimes:Oh my God, that's so crazy.
Johnna:I just don't love talking on the phone. The only the only couple of people that I'll talk to on the phone is my aunt, debbie, because she's not well, she'll text. But like we talk on the phone Because we have hour long conversations, and then my mom which love mom, mom, hope she doesn't listen to this but like our conversations are pointless, like we're literally listening to each other breathe, that's, that's, and I'll finally be like okay, I'm gonna go, I'm tired of listening to you breathe, okay, bye oh my gosh, yeah, no, I totally feel that and it's like for me it's, it's, it's, it's up.
Johnna:Also, can we don't FaceTime me if it's not a planned FaceTime?
Johnna:There's this one guy, I can't, I can't, there's this one guy that I dated that literally FaceTimed me all the time and like y'all can't see this but I look like a troll right now. Like I have on mismatched sweatpants because I have self-tanner on for New Year's Eve. And like my hair has not been washed in six days. But like, don't facetime me unless you're going to tell me about it, because I'm not, especially if we're dating and we're not in a committed relationship. Because, like number one, I look like a troll and I'm number two.
Grimes:I'm trying to still be presentable to you so that you're not like bye, felicia right, literally, it's like I switch between homeless to comfy comfy Comfy mode, homeless mode to comfy mode.
Johnna:And currently I look homeless.
Grimes:Yeah, like my friends know this right, my close friends know this. Like fashion is pain. For me, comfort is key for everything and I know comfort and fashion don't go hand in hand.
Johnna:Yes, it can. Actually, this is something that I've embraced in 2024. So, like, my fashion is comfort, but also like comfort chic. So you can actually find styles that are very comfortable and just gravitate more towards what you're comfortable in. Don't try to, don't try to like, go towards things that you are having to push the mark with, because that's not who you are. Go towards things that are comfortable and then you'll find your own sense of style and that's kind of what I've leaned into and I'm actually this past year I've embraced my style Like it's not like it's not like something like top 10, top tier, that someone's like oh my God, I want to look like her, but I'm comfortable and I think I look cute.
Grimes:So you know that's so interesting. You say that because I just recently started doing that. Like I am wearing like a nice sweatshirt right now. It says homebody. It's just, it's very simple, because I am a homebody and then I matched it with like gold earrings and I put some lipstick on and my favorite rings. And this is a style, this is my style. You know, like I'm not comparing or looking at anyone else and I'm wearing like cute sweatpants, like that's it. I can actually go to Kroger and trade a juice with this.
Johnna:See, and that's the difference. Like when I lived in Nashville, I felt like I had to be super cute anytime I went to the grocery store. Like super cute, like I so like right now I'm in like this leopard pajama top with some gray sweatpants, because again it's self tanning day, it's going's gonna stain things. Like I'm not trying to be cute, right, I would go out in public in this in Huntsville, like I totally do not care, like whoever saves me which maybe I should care maybe I'm gonna meet my husband at the grocery store. But when I was in Nashville, there's no way in hell I would leave the house in this. No, yeah, I wouldn't. Because the first time that I did go like and kind of mismatch sweats to the grocery store in nashville, I was like what? Like why is every girl in here in matching sets?
Grimes:oh, I feel you on that one, I feel so big difference in culture.
Johnna:Which huntsville's getting there. It's getting there, but I think I'm just so comfortable here that I just don't really care no good for you, girl.
Grimes:I mean, confidence is power. You know, they say that.
Johnna:I don't know that I'm confident in it either. I just am like I don't care enough.
Grimes:I think that's a form of confidence. Maybe I don't give an, it's like yeah.
Johnna:I think the older I get, I'm just kind of like you know, this is who I am. Like, accept me or don't like. I half the time look like this like the one percent time that I look presentable like is on my Instagram feed, and that's literally one percent of the time, and people are always like oh my god, you look so nice and I'm like don't expect that if you ever meet me.
Grimes:You look so cute in your Instagram feed. Oh my god like.
Johnna:Yes, I agree with the people yeah, yeah, not, not real life, but any who?
Grimes:Oh my God, sorry, we, literally we have so much we have not caught up. So I think that's also like coming in this podcast.
Johnna:But I think people like this is my type of podcast. I don't like formatted podcasts, I like a conversation. I think people like conversations because typically when I listen to podcasts I'm on a long drive and I just want to zone out and I just want to be able to laugh with people and just be like what is going on in your life, so I can get my mind off of my life.
Grimes:That's so true. I'm starting to do more of that because my podcast episodes are so short oh, dangerously, and like some of them have told me, oh, they love the short episodes. Some of them are like oh, they love the short episodes. Some of them are like, oh, I like longer episodes. So I totally get the car part, like when I'm driving, I want to zone out and I'm ready to listen to an hour's episode or half and it's just nice, it's. It's nice to connect.
Johnna:So well, my aunt that I love and I look up to, she always tells me like, if I'm like, oh my god, listen to this episode, it was really good, she goes did it have to be an hour, could you make it 20 minutes? And I was like, and Debbie stop.
Grimes:Listen to my episode. They're like 10 minutes, seven minutes 14 minutes.
Johnna:Well, my episode last week was one minute and 32 seconds. Oh really, it literally just said happy holidays. I'm not putting out an episode this week. Oh that's. Oh, my god, that's smart. I should have done that.
Grimes:Next I'm stealing it for next year. I'm stealing it, but I'll take enjoy your vacation, enjoy your holidays. Bye, yeah, I feel that, oh my gosh. But yeah, boundaries are leading to clear fulfillment and you know, we talked about even boundaries of wearing what you want, yeah, yeah. So the next thing I want to talk about is that, like, healing is really a journey. Healing is just not a destination.
Johnna:It's, it's literally a journey, and, and so many people misunderstand this, I think that's something I guess that I would put in my top 10 of 2024, that that was something like. I know that we worked together in 2023 and in 2024. And that was something that was very hard for me to like grasp was that you're not just going to heal and be this new person, like I thought that's what it was. I thought, oh, I'm going to heal and I'm going to be this new person and I'm never going to have that backsliding moment and I'm never going to have that backsliding moment and I'm never going to go back to the way that I was, but like, after more communication with you and more coaching with you, like realizing, no, that's part of the healing is that you are going to take a few steps back and you still are that person you were, that had those moments.
Johnna:So I think that was a big takeaway from 2024 with me. And then, just the biggest, I will say advice wise I think you gave it on the podcast last month to me and that's something that's literally rang true and I keep repeating it to myself when I have these moments is when you say you did the best that you could with the tools that you had at the time. So anytime something happens and I'm beating myself up, I literally that literally, for whatever reason your voice comes through and I'm like no, I did the best I could with what I had at that moment.
Grimes:That's so true Because I feel like self forgiveness is really important in healing, and you know people like you, jonna, especially and I think I've done this with myself for the longest time until I stopped is we can be highly critical of our own selves. Yeah, you know, and because we're we're kind of competitive in different ways and we kind of want to be better and we kind of strive for being being better, showing up better, so there's that competitive side. So, yes, I totally agree with that and thanks for acknowledging that. And and so many like clients, right, it's like and my clients at this point know this, uh, but sometimes out of the blue, I'll get a new client and they'll be like oh, I just want to be fully healed and I will just totally.
Grimes:I will be like listen, that's not the way I work, because if somebody is telling you that you can fully heal, please don't waste your time and money Like do whatever you want, like, but that's just my take on it. There's no such thing as fully healed. It's a scam. Waste your time and money like do whatever you want, like, but that's just my take on it. There's no such thing as fully healed. It's a scam. They're selling you something which is not real, it's not part of the human experience, and you know. And they actually end up paying and I have had them come to me and say you were right, right and after thousands and thousands of dollars paying someone else, which is really sad because I think people sell other people on ideas and fantasies, which is sad that, seeing that that's the way people make money.
Johnna:But I mean, if we think about it logically, like taking my age, like I'm 37 this year, I've grown up with 37 years of my conditioning and who I was, and like, well, I started working with you when I was 36. So let's just say 36. So 36 years. So 36 years is going to trump one year of working with you, like it just is, and like, sure, I have the tools now to try to not go back to the past, but that doesn't mean that that's still not there, because 36 years trumps a year of coaching and healing. Granted, I'm light years beyond what I could have ever imagined working with you, but I'm just saying like, if we think about logically, like childhood trauma and things that we have to overcome, like that's not going to go away in a year of work.
Grimes:Oh, my God, no. And also like it's. I think it's also like directly proportional, right, and when people ask me it's like, oh, can I be healed in one year? Can I be healed in three years, can I be healed in five months, I will literally say this is like directly proportional to how much trauma you've had, right and the level, not just how much the level of trauma you've had, and also your mindset and your personality.
Johnna:I was about to say the willingness to change.
Grimes:Yes, because I have worked with clients who have had so much trauma, but they're just so ready when I say ready, oh my God like they will show up all day, every day, if they have to, and they have healed in three months. I mean, when I say healed, they've healed 95%, which is a big deal, and then they continue to do the work, little by little, by little by little after, because it's a journey, like I said, it's not a destination, whereas there are some people I've been working with for four years, then they're still my clients and, no shame, I love them. They're very amazing, awesome human beings. But it has taken them a little more time because of their mindset that they have certain fears associated with healing and their childhood traumas are associated with the fears to the healing, so it's like right, so much directly proportional to that. So that's why it's really important to say oh, not not to say oh, I'm going to be healed, and after, I'm going to be done like you're just not right.
Grimes:Are you accept that the sooner you can embrace life, even more?
Johnna:That reminds me of something that's hilarious. It has nothing to do with me, but I had a friend tell me one time like he went to therapy for a few months I guess, and he told me I said you know, clearly you could tell that he still needed to be in therapy and I was like, so how's therapy going? He was like, oh, I'm done. I was like, oh, I'm done. I was like you're done. What do you what? What do you mean? You're?
Grimes:done with therapies and I graduated, she told me I didn't need to come back. I was like you may want to find another therapist. I remember that conversation with you, oh my god, I was like you're not healed baby boy, like keep working, keep working yeah, and I had somebody like tell me God, I hope he's not listening to this Not a client, guys, not a client, just somebody that I knew and know told me that I already know everything that's wrong.
Grimes:I don't need a therapist to tell me and I'm just like that's not enough, son. It's like yeah, that's probably the worst thing you could have said.
Johnna:It's like yeah, that's probably the worst thing you could have said.
Grimes:That's not enough. I'm like, just because you're aware of all the things that have happened and you're aware of the pain doesn't mean you're healing. Awareness is literally a baby step, which is the first step.
Johnna:I understand that and I think there's something that you told me that literally like was a knife to my heart when because I feel like I'm very self-aware, right. So, like you told me, like you said, being self-aware is the first step, but being self-aware is also how did you word it? You said, you said, when you become self-aware now, it's a choice. And I was like, oh, so I'm making the choice to be this way now versus when you didn't, when you weren't self-aware, you weren't making that choice. Now, like, and ever since, you said that I'm like more aware, and I'm like, yeah, like it, like if I do something that, like you know, is like past behavior and I did it, and then I'm like, oh, that was a choice I just made because I know better yes, oh my god, and I teach people the power of choice, right, but it's so.
Grimes:That's so true, that's very accurate and that's how I feel it's like. Yesterday I went to this movie, by the way, I think you should watch it. Side note, I'll tell you about it later. But I don't generally, and John has been amazing about coaching me with the right foods to eat, which I think has to also be another episode. On the health stuff. Yeah, today I just wanted M, but yesterday I just wanted M&Ms. I just wanted M&Ms. So I went to the movies with a few friends and then I literally got M&Ms and I had this voice in my head which is like oh my God, 18 grams of sugar and then 148 calories.
Grimes:That's not the problem, but it was the 18 grams of sugar. That was like I was like 18 grams of sugar and then 148 calories. That's not the problem, but it was the 18 grams of sugar. That was like I was like 18 grams of sugar and then, at that moment, I made a choice. I was like you know what I'm going to eat? These M&Ms.
Johnna:I'm proud of you.
Grimes:Yes, you should be. I'm going to eat it. I'm okay eating it and it's totally fine. It's not like every day I'm filling my plate up with M&Ms. This is like one day occurrence or it occurs randomly. I'm going to enjoy these M&Ms, and I really did. I didn't even finish it, I just had like 10 and I was done, and then I still had it, but you know, I didn't have guilt or shame, because that's I think we talked about the power of choice.
Johnna:And I want to talk about that in the new year, like your health journey and your nutrition journey because I don't talk about nutrition a lot on this podcast, like I've done a few episodes, but it is my life passion, just because I struggled so much with it, that, like my biggest passion in life is to like tell all women, like you're being lied to, like just listen, which it's hard, which you had a hard time in which, again, this is a podcast for another day. You had a hard time understanding which, again, this is a podcast for another day. You had a hard time understanding like eat more makes you lose weight and you're like wait, wait, wait. That's not what I've been told my entire life. Which it's not. Like that's what we're told as women. Our entire life is eat less, move more, you'll lose weight. But anyways, that's another episode for another day.
Grimes:Okay, yeah, so yeah. The other thing which actually like translated without even talking about it, is healing is a journey, not a destination, and the power of choice is really the best thing you can. You can own right, and so I talk to my clients about this so much which is like, whatever you do, start owning it start owning it, say that I did it and I'm doing it it.
Grimes:It may be a mistake or it may not be a mistake. I'm willing to take those chances and I'm willing to. It may be a mistake or it may not be a mistake. I'm willing to take those chances and I'm willing to take responsibility for what happens.
Grimes:I was coaching this client in getting back together with her ex and John and I have done episodes on that and you know, and it's a very like turbulent relationship and very, very turbulent, and I would even label it as toxic and and I think she was she was going to give him another chance.
Grimes:And I said, well, and she was really like, afraid to come and tell me, but she really wanted to tell me. She was like I don't want you to judge me. And I said, well, it's not my job to judge, it's my job to listen and hold space, put you where it's needed, that's it. And then so she told me oh, you know, I think I'm willing, I think I'm going to give him another chance. I said, okay, but can it be different this time? And she was like how? I said, well, can you all take responsibility that you are allowing this person back into your life and stop labeling him as a narcissist and stop labeling him as toxic, and because you are creating space for the toxicity, which is fine, but I want you to own that and say that I will take responsibility for however this turns out.
Johnna:And I love that you say that, because I feel like that's something I've always been good at. Like I clearly have not been in the best relationships in the past, but one thing I will say about myself is like when people like you, you have your girlfriends that like surround. I will say about myself is like when people like you, you have your girlfriends that like surround themselves with you and you're like, screw him. And I'm like, but no, I actually allowed this. Like, so I have to take ownership and my responsibility in this. Like I'm allowing the behavior. I'm actually perpetuating the behavior because I'm allowing it so forth and so forth and so forth. So what does that say about me? I'm allowing it so forth and so forth and so forth.
Grimes:So what does that say about me? And that's so powerful, it's like it's very brutal. I think once I started seeing life like that and asking questions like that, it was like a stab in the heart every time something happened. But then, after a while, you're, you're gonna. You know what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You know what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So, right, abs, after a while it may. It anchors into who you are becoming and how strong you become and how you own your choices. Yeah, like it's so on your choice, owning our choices.
Grimes:And another greatest lesson that for me, in 2024, I had to learn like I I mean, I'm just to say it right it's like there was this particular coach that I worked with in actually in 2023. And it was not a good experience. It was not a good experience. It was. It was not a personal coach relationship, it was a business coach and it was six months and it was a lot of money, guys, oh my God, like I can't even fathom.
Grimes:It was a lot of money that I invested because I was just like, as an entrepreneur, I should be willing to take risks if I want to up level and if I want to get more creative in my business. So I took those risks and it was not a good experience after six and I was stuck in a kind of a guilt and shame cycle because I'm very good with money and I have a very good relationship with money, like I save, I invest, I spend, like I have a good relationship with money. So I had this huge shame spiral for a few weeks, almost where my partner had to be like when you decided this you had, you didn't own it completely right but.
Grimes:But you decided it with the level of tools and the awareness you absolutely had at that time. That time you were still in integrity and that helped me so much. Yeah, oh, my god, you're right. Like at that time I was still true to myself, right, lying to myself, I just didn't have enough information. Yeah, they say a crush is just a lack of information.
Johnna:Yeah, it is. It is.
Grimes:It's like that. So some choices that we make, which may be poor choices and we reflect on it later, it is literally just a lack of knowledge and information about that person, right? Well, after I owned that choice, I was able to forgive myself for that. For that quote on, I don't even want to call it mistake, for that experience, yeah, and obviously I made that money back. It's not about the money, it's the time I invested and it's the expectations and you know all those things. So own your choices.
Grimes:Own your choices because it brings a lot of self-awareness, and not only does it bring self-awareness, it brings strength and it brings freedom I agree yeah, and then the other thing, uh, which I I think john and I talked about before, is is like messy action is better than no action.
Johnna:What are we talking about? Are we talking about, like, life lessons? Are we talking about relationship? Because, I don't know, I've had some messy actions in relationships.
Grimes:Yes, we're talking about everything. We're talking about mainly staying disciplined in the things that you need to do, for example, it's not all or nothing for example. That's true eat healthy, right? Some people, you know they'll be like oh, I had a cheat meal I messed up. Okay, now I'm done. You know, and it's that perfectionist mentality yeah yeah, I struggled with that a lot and, jonna, you coached me on that for sure, you know. I think like once I started my health journey, I had a trip planned to Universal and I was like oh my god, like I'm going to Universal.
Johnna:Studios.
Grimes:Like they have barbeque and they have.
Johnna:What do I do? Eat it, drink it, come back and start over.
Grimes:Exactly, and that's what I did. So it just gave me so much freedom. And you said it doesn't have to be like all or nothing, and I say that to my clients a lot with other things, but in health, I needed someone to tell me that.
Johnna:Right other things, but in health. I needed someone to tell me that Right, and that's funny because I think it's just now hitting home with me. Sometimes these podcasts are very therapeutic and therapy driven, but like that's just in life in general, like and maybe that's something I need to be better at going into 2025 is just being like when something happens, just accepting how it happened and, like you said, like having that, like I did the best that I could with the tools that I had at the moment it's not all or nothing. That doesn't mean that you backslid all the way. That doesn't mean that all your progress is gone. Like get up tomorrow, do better and forgive yourself.
Grimes:Yep, yep. And one of the coaches that I worked with oh my God, she's so amazing she gave me this example and she said when the train is running really fast and somebody stops the train, it still takes a few seconds for the train to stop, right? I was just like boom, right. So even if you're consistently doing something and you stop, it's fine, it doesn't mean it's ended.
Johnna:Right.
Grimes:It's just slowing down and that and that means you can pick it back up anytime you anytime you want, anytime you know. So I'm just like that's so easy, that makes it so simple, it brings more self-acceptance and I think, like for me, my style of coaching and jalanosis, it's like, yes, I can be aggressive and all of that, but what I am a big advocate of is self acceptance and, you know, inner strength and confidence and owning who you are right.
Grimes:I'm very big on. You develop the self worth and then you start making really good choices after you develop that self worth. So I feel like taking some action is still better than taking no action, because I feel like perfectionism for me, has led to so much procrastination in the past. Yeah, but I'll be. Oh, okay, this post is not perfect. I'm not going to post it on Instagram. When people actually didn't give a shit about what I posted. They care about the value of the information that was in the post. They didn't care about the aesthetics at all. Right, you know, I would get like likes and shares based on the value. So it was all projection. The whole concept of perfectionism is full on projection as to oh, what will they think? And this is how it has to be. Like all that. So if you're like waiting to start something maybe you want to start running, maybe you want to start working out, you want to start eating healthy, just start right, no, I agree 1000%.
Johnna:Like that's. That's something that I think that everybody does anyways at the new year. Right, like, like I go to the gym all year long and then the people that typically go to the gym like constantly like that's the dreaded time to go to the gym. Right, like, if you're a avid gym goer, the new year comes along, your gym is busier. It's slightly annoying not that it's like I'm happy that people are in there, but then it's like you know it dies off after a month. But it's almost like, why do we wait till one one january 1st to talk about it in the next episode? Right, like, why do we do that? Like, why do we wait till that mark? Like, if you're ready to start on christmas day and you get the spark and you're like you know what? Tomorrow morning I'm gonna go to the gym, go. You don't have to wait, you don't have to be like well, it's not january 1st.
Grimes:Like, just go and I think that's also like, really like talking about conditioning again, very false conditioning that, conditioning that you have to start everything in the new year and everybody else is doing it now why are?
Johnna:you doing what everyone is doing like and I get, like it's a huge motivator. Like it is, it's a new year, like new year, new me thing. Like it's it's a huge motivator. But like why we shouldn't wait for arbitrary things to motivate us. Like we should be able to motivate ourselves, like kind of like our episode that we did on motivation versus discipline. Like we should be able to be motivated and disciplined any time of the year, not just one time of the year.
Grimes:No, I totally 1000%, like 1000% agree.
Johnna:Because the new year is going to fade off. Right, Like the new year is going to fade off. And then where is your?
Grimes:motivation and discipline coming from. If it was coming from that arbitrary number, it's gone. That's very true. And also all the dopamine around. God, yes, it's one one you know. All that is also going to die so quickly. Oh my god, right, literally, it'll live and die. When the second and third comes around, you'll be like agreed, agreed, agreed. Like take messy action instead of taking perfect action, like any goal, just start and then, refine it, refine it, refine it, refine it, refine it.
Grimes:I cannot tell you how many times I have refined my goals. It has never like, especially in 2024. That's what I learned. It's it was never perfect right right okay, you're not perfect, you're not a robot right, agreed now.
Johnna:Is that all that you had? That you your top um. I don't know if you want this for the next episode or this episode, but do you want to talk about the things that you're leaving behind in 2024 and the things that you will carry on into 2025? Or is that the next episode?
Grimes:Well, I feel like these are things I've already kind of left behind. Like you know what I mean. It's like I've left behind um, like lack of boundaries. Behind that, healing has to be a destination.
Johnna:So what would you? What would you say, your top three things that you want to take into 2025? I guess you tell me your top three things you want to take into 2025. And I'll tell you my top three things.
Grimes:Yeah, my top three things is number one Discipline is God. Literally. Discipline is self-love, like I'm really going to take that into 2025. And when I say discipline, guys, I don't mean, oh, every day, 5 am, 4 am not that my form of discipline can even look like okay, three times a week I'm going to do this, or four times a week I'm going to do this. So just having a ritual that is realistic for me, that I'm really planning to take in 2025. And the second thing I'm really planning to take in in 2025.
Grimes:And the second thing I'm really going to take in 2025 is, obviously, I don't want to toot my horn, but the tools that I have are just priceless. So I'm going to anchor that in even more and I'm going to do it even more and I'm going to go deeper into myself, deeper into my soul and deeper into my purpose, rather than looking at anybody else and seeing what anybody else is doing. Because I mean, I don't know if anybody who's listening to this, who's a coach, will understand, but you guys need to understand the coaching industry is. It's a little overwhelming. There's a lot of coaches that say one thing, the other coaches say different things and there's a lot of conflict that happens in the industry, or the one thing that I've learned, which I'm going to take in 2025, is I have my own style. It doesn't have to look like any other coach, it doesn't have to be like anybody else. I have my own style and that's why I've attracted the types of clients that I have attracted, because I have my own style and that's fine, right? I'm really anchoring that in, yeah.
Grimes:And then the third thing I'm taking in 2025 is financial literacy. I feel like I educated the hell out of myself in financial management and financial literacy because my partner you know he's he's into finances and he's into financial planning and he's very good about that. So there was a lot of like educational conversations we had and how I can budget this, how I can pay my debt and this and that, where I can save, where I can invest, how to improve my relationship with money. So I am definitely taking a lot of knowledge with financial literacy and finding balance in that reality in 2020. And finding balance in that reality in 2020. Because I help my clients with that also, which is improving their relationship with money, and finances.
Johnna:Yeah Well, my top three are not as elaborate as yours. Mine is to love myself more, because I don't do that enough. Number two would be to worry less, which we will see how that goes.
Grimes:I think you're doing actually I know that you're doing so much better.
Johnna:And so I'll put, I'll put two into. So worry less, stop and try your best to stop controlling every situation. That's, that's my number, that's that's probably number one.
Johnna:No, number one is love myself more, because I think I need to do that more. Number two is to worry less and stop controlling things. And number three, which nobody come after me if I don't do this in 2025, but I'm going to do my best to try to be more social, because it almost feels like every day is Groundhog's Day in my house because I do the same thing every day Work gym, come home, watch TV, go to sleep. So I'm going to try my best to be a little bit more social. Maybe we'll see.
Grimes:Oh, I love that. Oh, my God, I feel like I need to steal that. The last one Jeez, I can be a hermit too. It's just, I work a lot.
Johnna:Yeah, we'll see. I don't know if that one will come to fruition, but that's a goal.
Grimes:It's, it's, it's, it's a goal. I see it's a goal. I don't have the guts to say that that can be a goal for me, because I don't even. I don't even trust myself to do that.
Johnna:I don't trust that I'll do anything with it, but I'm going to try.
Grimes:Yes, yes, no, I absolutely love it. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode of you know my reflections in 2025, my tiny goals, what I'm taking with me and what Jonna is taking with her and, obviously, her input, which because it's just so interesting. It's just so interesting what you have to say always.
Johnna:And what we're leaving behind. So when y'all listen to this, if y'all listen to this on Tuesday, when it's out, it's New Year's Eve, If you listen the following day or anytime after. Happy new year and I hope you all have goals that you are putting into light.
Grimes:Yes, and that's what we're going to talk about in the next episode, guys, like how to set realistic goals with systems that you can actually follow. So stay tuned for that one. We will catch you guys in the next one. Thank you so much, guys, and happy new year in advance. Happy New next one.
Johnna:thank you so much, guys, and happy new year in advance um happy new year's eve, or happy new year's day whenever you listen to this, yeah, same ditto. All right, guys, until the next one. Bye, thank you.
