Babbling about Beauty Standards & Breaking Routines

#190: Have you ever wondered what happens when you finally silence that voice telling you to stick to your comfort zone? In this candid and refreshing episode, I dive into my recent adventures beyond the boundaries of my usual 8 PM bedtime – including an unexpected stint as an impromptu DJ at 1 AM and solo brunches that turned into meaningful connections with strangers.

These experiences reminded me of the magic that happens when we simply say "yes" to life, much like when I read Shonda Rhimes' "Year of Yes" and transformed my approach to new opportunities. But this isn't just about staying out late or trying new restaurants – it's about the deeper lessons we learn when we allow ourselves to experience life beyond our self-imposed limitations.

The conversation takes a thoughtful turn as I explore the complex world of beauty standards and aging. From my personal journey with facial fillers to the frustrating double standards that praise men for aging while expecting women to achieve the impossible – looking youthful without intervention – I unpack the contradictions we face daily. Most importantly, I share my realization that true beauty comes from making choices for ourselves rather than others, finding that delicate balance between self-acceptance and growth. Whether you're struggling with society's expectations or simply need encouragement to step outside your routine, this episode offers a judgment-free space to reflect on what truly matters. Join me in my challenge for the week: say yes to something unexpected AND extend yourself some grace when you look in the mirror. After all, we're all beautiful works in progress.

Follow me on social: https://www.instagram.com/babbles_nonsense/

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
• 1:03 Adventures Outside My Comfort Zone
• 4:19 The Pressure of Beauty Standards
• 9:03 Finding Balance and Saying Yes
• 13:05 Closing Thoughts and Challenge

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

What is up everyone? Welcome back to another episode of the Bible's Nonsense podcast. On today's episode, I'm just going to keep it short and sweet, but I think it could hit home for some. I want to share some fun things I've been doing lately and are totally outside of my normal routine. And then I kind of want to shift into something I've been thinking a lot about recently, and that's just beauty standards in general. Two very different topics, but, trust me, they do connect a little bit. So you know, you can grab a coffee, maybe a drink if it's later in the day, take a walk. Whatever you're doing, let's just chat. All right, guys, welcome back.

Speaker 1: 1:03

I wanted to talk a little bit about some things I've been doing around town lately, because I haven't done an episode like that in a while. So a few weeks ago I did something that might not sound like a big deal to some of you, but for me it was kind of huge. I decided to go out with some friends and I went to the new Providence bar. So if you're local to Huntsville and there's some new, well, there's a lot of new restaurants and bars opening up. And I did go to Providence bar, um, and instead of sticking to my usual routine which, let's be honest, is bedtime at 8 PM or earlier some nights. Um, I stayed out until one in the morning, and yes, you heard that right. One in the morning, and yes, you heard that right 1am. Let's get wild. I know y'all are all probably like okay, but no y'all. If those who know me know that me staying out past nine or 10 is a pretty big deal. But the night ended up being one of the best times I've had in a long time. Somehow I became the unofficial DJ after hours with the manager's phone and we all laughed until our stomachs hurt. I met new people and I let go of the little voice in my head that usually says you don't belong here, go home. Usually that's my social anxiety, but that night it didn't win and I'm so glad I did stay and I'm so glad I got to catch up with old friends, meet some new people and still to this day hear about it. Because it was such a good time.

Speaker 1: 2:29

And not long after that I decided to take myself on a little solo date for a brunch date. I think it was a couple weeks ago. I went to the new brunch spot in town in Huntsville and it's Luna's Cafe. And it's right beside the Providence Bars the same owners, and it's right beside the Providence Bar it's the same owners. And it was supposed to just be me just having a me day, you know my food, and some quiet time, but of course, life had other plans. I ended up meeting new people and having great conversations, even though I walked in expecting to be alone, and let me just say the food and drinks were amazing at both places. So so, if you're wanting to try new places in Huntsville, totally recommend the Providence bar and Luna's cafe. Um, because they have great food, great drinks, atmospheres, awesome. Both are beautifully decorated. It's just a great vibe all around. Um. So, and then, this past weekend, I got to celebrate one of my best friends as she's preparing to have her first baby. You know.

Speaker 1: 3:27

That reminded me of how important it is to show up for life's milestones, to pause and be present in those moments that we can't get back. I know a lot of us we're. We're living everyday life, hustling, bustling, moving around, constantly, saying that we don't have time for things, but then then, like looking back on experiences I really do sometimes miss and or regret, just being like, oh, I can't do that, or I'm tired, I don't want to go out and I like our. This reminds me of a few years ago. I read Shonda Rhimes book the Year of yes and I was saying I think this was 2022. And I was just saying yes to so many new things and experiences and it was just a really good time and I met so many different people and I just went to new restaurants, tried new things and, looking back on it, those are great memories. So maybe I'll reread that book and encourage myself to start saying yes a lot more.

Speaker 1: 4:23

But all of this to say like staying out late, trying new places, celebrating with friends it's definitely reminded me that joy doesn't always live in that safe, predictable space that we like to call our comfort zone. Right, sometimes joy is on the other side of just saying yes, even when it's not part of our plans. And like I get it. You know, I'm not a parent, I'm not a spouse, I don't have a partner, so it is easy for me to say yes to things that I typically wouldn't, where some people are sitting there, probably listening, going. Well, I can't do that when I have a family at home and I completely understand that, like everything's nuances and what, what kind of we, what we have to deal with, right, but I just kind of wanted to update y'all on some cool little places that I've been to in Huntsville and let y'all know if you haven't been definitely recommend.

Speaker 1: 5:12

And then the second part of this episode that I kind of wanted to talk about that's been on my mind lately is just beauty standards. I know I've touched on this briefly in other episodes, but I don't know, it's just been on my mind lately and I think it's because I mentioned this in my Q&A podcast episode that I've been dissolving some more old filler in my face. And you know, I don't know if you've ever been through a dissolving process with filler, but it is a process like you go through like oh my gosh, what am I doing? How do I look like? In your mind you think you look crazy and all my friends are like you literally look the same and I'm like, really, because I feel like I look crazy. But anyways, it just got me thinking about beauty standards in general and while you know, while I have been saying yes to new experiences, like going out with friends and stuff like that, I've also been saying yes to some deeper thoughts.

Speaker 1: 6:02

I've been really reflecting on the beauty standards, like where do they come from? Is it? Do we think this is more of a Hollywood situation? Is it coming more from men? Is it women? Is it both? Is it all of it? Because when I talk to men like my my guy friends, you know they'll say, oh, I don't care about makeup or surgery or fillers and all that stuff. Like, even people I've dated they'll say that. But then it's like you look at their social media and it's nothing but Instagram models with large boobs, bbls, filters, you know, fillers, and I'm like okay, well, what's the truth? Like, do you not care? Because that seems to be the only girls you're following and liking, or is it just something easy to say out loud? But on the flip side of that, I also think that women, we as women, compare ourselves to each other constantly. You know, like, like, when we're going out, I feel like women are more so worried about what women would think, sometimes more so than men, and maybe that's where so much of the pressure comes from. It's probably a mix of both outside expectations and internal competition. Either way, it feels like we can't win. You know, we're damned if we do, we're damned if we don't.

Speaker 1: 7:19

It's like don't age. But if you use filler or Botox or have surgery people talk about that too it's like you're expected not to do anything to yourself because that's quote unquote plastic or you know that's fake, that's not what God gave you. But then if you don't do it, it's like you're supposed to age gracefully but you can't help what your genetics are or how much money you have to buy skincare and whatnot. But you know, men, on the other hand, when they age, it's like a rite of passage, it's like sexy, it's get that salt and pepper, hair wrinkles, maybe a little belly, and suddenly they're quote unquote distinguished, they're somehow sexier for doing what all of us are doing, which is getting older.

Speaker 1: 8:02

Like there's no, there's no stopping that, there's no magic pill, there's no fountain of youth, there's no Peter Pan syndrome, no magic pill, there's no fountain of youth, there's no peter pan syndrome. Well, you know, there is a peter pan syndrome, but there is no stopping aging. And I'll be real with you, I get caught in that mix too, like I'm not gonna lie and say that I haven't had fillers we all I've talked about it um or that I don't try to do the best I can like get devices like red red light therapy masks or the? Um. What's the other one, the um? Oh, I can't think of. It's like that little vibrating thing that like messes with your muscles. Um, the new face or something like that. Um, washing facials, all the things, right, you know, um, I used to say that I would never do anything to stop aging.

Speaker 1: 8:51

I used to say that all the time I'd be like I can't wait till I get old. You get to do what you want. I was going to be all natural, embrace every wrinkle, but then it's like in the morning you wake up and you're like well, where did this wrinkle come from? What can I do? And then suddenly you know I'm not so opposed to things to feel good in my own skin. Like I said earlier, I've tried aesthetic treatments. I've had some mishaps We've all heard about, you know, my filler mishaps and having to have surgery for correction and I've realized it really is all about balance, finding that line between taking care of yourself without losing yourself and being honest about it.

Speaker 1: 9:30

And I'm not saying everyone has to go around telling everybody what they've done, but I will probably be that girl that will always like I'm honest about the treatments that I have had or what I'm doing, and I'll be. I'll be honest, I'll be that girl one day that will want to facelift down the road. I'm not going to pretend otherwise, like I used to be, like I will never be that person. Obviously, that's going to depend on you know technology, where I'm at in my life, because anything can happen. We just never know. But also know that that decision will be mine when I make it.

Speaker 1: 10:03

It's not going to be anybody else and most of the time let me just say this I do stuff for me, not for other people, because it's and I think I think majority of women can say this as well when we do things I truly don't think well, I can only speak for me. I can't speak for everybody else. We're doing it for other people, like we're doing it for confidence boost and how we feel about ourselves. Now, obviously, we want our outward appearance to be a certain way for the outside, but I also think it makes us feel a certain way as well, like it boosts our confidence. It makes you feel like yourself. You know that you, that you once felt, but it won't when I, when I do decide to make a decision, or when I do make decisions, it's not to please anyone else or to fit into some impossible standard. It'll be because that's what I chose for me and that's something I'm working on, because for the longest time I did do things to try to fit the male gaze or whatnot, but now it's more for coming into my own.

Speaker 1: 11:05

I think that comes with aging as well, which is another beautiful part of aging is the older we get, the more wisdom we have, the more decisions we can make for our internal self and the more confidence you have and the more you grow in that, the more you can make those decisions more soundly. So maybe that is the real takeaway here. You know, beauty standards are loud. I think they're always going to be loud. They're probably even going to get louder with the more social media that grows and comes out and all the. You know it used to be just Facebook, then it was Facebook and Instagram. Now it's Facebook, instagram and TikTok, you know. So the more social media apps come out and the more technology that comes around, like filters and AI technology, where it we think these people look the way they do until we see them in real life and realize like, oh, we all just look the same. It's just these impossible standards. And I think that the more we realize that and the more we quiet that voice that you know in our heads that we need to look a certain way, and the more we listen to our own and come into our own decisions on our own that we can own, if that makes sense. It's going to be better that way.

Speaker 1: 12:18

So I just wanted to keep it short and sweet for this episode. So here's why these two things tie together for me. Saying yes to new experiences, whether it's staying out too late, eating brunch at a new spot or celebrating a friend, reminded me that life is all about balance. And reflecting on beauty standards has also reminded me of the same thing Balance between routine and spontaneity, between self acceptance and self improvement, between what society expects and what we actually want for ourselves.

Speaker 1: 12:47

So here's my challenge for you this week, and not only for you, for myself say yes to something outside of your norm. Try the new restaurant, take a class, go to an event, but at the same time, give yourself some grace when you look in the mirror. We're all aging, we're all figuring it out, we're all allowed to be a work in progress. We are all beautiful in our own way. Thanks for hanging out with me today, guys. If you liked the little mix of life updates and deeper reflection, share it with someone who might need a reminder to say yes, saying yes to life and to themselves. So thanks for letting me keep it short and sweet this week. I will be at it all next week with a whole new episode and until then, bye, thank you you.